It's time to straighten this out. If former Gov. Lamm does run for president, the last thing we want is a Lammgate.

The guv is in print quite often nowadays. In one news feature, he said the epitaph on his grave would be "stand up, roll over, drop dead." Then last Sunday, in the Rocky Mountain News, he said his platform in the unsuccessful 1992 U.S. Senate race was "stand up, roll over, drop dead."

Well, certainly Gov. Lamm WAS responsible for each of the pronouncements that led to the short-cut quotes. But he did NOT put them all together.

I did, in 1984, in the Hummers' show put on by the House Democrats. And I have in my possession the Hummers' script which includes the lyrics, in case anyone doubts my word. (The Hummers is a satire at the end of the legislative session in which House Democrats get rid of their frustrations. It actually is good therapy.)

The song is entitled "Governor's Epitaph". Here are the lyrics. Sorry I can't reprint the music.

Stand Up

Roll Over

Drop Dead

Gawdammit

Stand Up

Roll Over

Drop Dead

Stand Up

Roll Over

I'll Put You

In the Clover

Stand Up

Roll Over

Drop Dead

The Moral to this Story

Is Not

Hard....To....Find

Count to Ten

Before You Say

What's

On.....Your.....Mind

Stand Up

Roll Over

Drop Dead

Gawdammit

Stand Up

Roll Over

I'll Put You

In the Clover

Stand Up

Roll Over

Drop Dead